10 Sure-Fire Ways to Fail as a Change Agent
By Terry L. Paulson, Ph.D., CSP, CPAE
In an effort to be less than constructive, here are
ten sure-fire ways to alienate and de-motivate your
team on your change journey. Hit-or-miss approaches
don't go far enough; this is your chance to use the
best methods of corporate torture and humiliation developed
by dictators, steamrollers and other "tough guy"
change agents.
1. Never give in to selling any change when you can
exercise your power by demanding it. Demands keep
staff in their place--down there somewhere. Tact and
frequent communication does to authority what sugar
does to teeth. You wouldn't want to rot your teeth;
you wouldn't want to spoil your team. After all, if
any of your people had any ideas worth listening to,
they would be the boss.
2. Develop a varied arsenal of "looks" to
master the subtle put-down. A well-placed sigh and
a "that was dumb" stare can work wonders
in silencing your people. Add the verbal clinchers:
"Are you kidding?" or "Do you really
think I'd do that!" Try well-placed sarcasm:
"Yeah, I knew I'd have this problem when they
made me put a woman in this position!" When they
react, just say, "Can't you take a joke without
overreacting like most women do?"
3. When providing performance feedback, don't let
them find their own solution when you can reinforce
your position of authority by telling them what they
"obviously should have done!" Take them
to the stone tablets enshrined on your office wall
to show them the error of their ways.
4. Never deal with issues when you can attack the
person. When they criticize your ideas, question their
attitude and commitment to the team. When they miss
a deadline, question their ability to handle responsibility.
If they persist in making their point, keep them in
their place by saying,"If I wanted your opinion,
I'd give it to you!"
5. Keep harping on the phrase,"More with Less"
to explain your downsizing, reorganizations and cost-containment
initiatives. Busy people are happy people whether
they want to admit it or not. Don't let your need
to hold the line on wages in order to impress stockholders
stop you from taking the wage increases and bonuses
you deserve for leading your team through such perilous
times.
6. Never give information or strategic direction until
you have to. Once you do, never change your position.
Now, if their ideas are really better, just wait a
few weeks, make some slight adjustments, and then
claim it as your idea. They will squawk in the restrooms
and lounges, but they will know what it is to respect
authority.
7. When things go wrong, you know who to sacrifice.
When you're given a bunch of turkeys, how do they
expect you to get them to fly? Never tarnish your
reputation as a change agent when you have inexperienced,
marginal team members to blame. If by chance your
team does succeed on its own, take the credit. After
all, with effective leadership even turkeys can fly
in unison for 50 feet.
8. Build your own corporate torture chamber that is
adapted to the needs of your trouble-making staff.
Know how to schedule hours to produce maximal aggravation.
Keep the pressure on by making them work with team
members they hate and projects they have no skills
to draw on. When they are in the "dog house,"
let them know it is not supposed to be fun.
9. Never give recognition; it sets the stage for complacency.
After all, they are lucky they have a job. If you
thank them, all they do is ask for more money. In
this decade of change, there is no need for any "good
guys" on your corporate juggernaut!
10. Bark is only as good as a bite. Fear is a great
motivator. Don't waste your time with petty, lengthy
documentation with your tough employees. Make a scene
by threatening their job right there on the spot.
Sure, you'll lose a few, and don't worry about lawsuits.
If you abuse them privately, there will be no witnesses
and it's your word against theirs.
With these helpful hints, as a change agent bent on
failure, you can be sure to arrive there. You'll know
if it is working. On the surface, people will appear
to work. You will get compliance when you are in sight.
You may find they work slow, make many errors, and have
no concern for quality or customer service, but at least
you know you will get the minimum. You will be butchered
at the drinking fountains and in the lounges, but don't
let petty gossip get in your way. You will feel lonely,
but that goes with creating the illusion of power. They
will have a going away party when you leave. Unfortunately,
you will not be invited to the party. By the way, according
to the U.S. Surgeon General, using these hints may be
hazardous to your career and a disaster to the team
and organization you serve.
Terry Paulson, Ph.D., is a professional keynote speaker
and author of Making Humor Work, Crisp Publications,
Menlo Park, CA, 1990; They Shoot Managers Don't They?;
and Paulson on Change. He speaks to help
leaders and teams make change work. Contact him at (818)
991-5110 or terry@terrypaulson.com.
Discuss this topic with other IABC members at: www.iabc.com/memberspeak.
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